"We can help a person to be himself by our own willingness to steep ourselves temporarily in his world, in his private feelings and experiences. By our affirmation of the person as he is, we give him support and strength to take the next step in his own growth.
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Clark Moustakas
Amy Mack, the president and CEO of Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) of Forsyth County, informed me recently that January is National Mentoring Month and that Jan. 21 is "Thank Your Mentor Day." She and her organization know a little bit about the importance of, and need for, mentors.
I immediately thought about one of my mentors, Liz Deal. It has been almost 20 years since I went through the process to become a Dale Carnegie trainer. Two days before the training was to start, fear set in. It became overwhelming. There was a lot to learn -- principles to memorize and techniques to master. I didn't want to fail.
Thanks to Liz, I made it. Without hesitation, she told me that quitting the training was not an option. She also asked me a question she knew the answer to: "Do you want to do this?"
And then she provided what I needed -- some simple, practical advice: Take one day at a time, prepare for what is right in front of you now, and then take the next step. I am thankful for her investment of time and interest in my success.
Mentors can provide direction and encouragement, and they can push you out of your comfort zone. Liz is one of many mentors (teachers, coaches, church leaders, etc) who have helped me along the way.
National Mentoring Month (www.whomentoredyou.org) recognizes the positive impact of mentoring, especially in the lives of young people. The month-long campaign highlights the need for mentors and discusses how communities can work together to make a difference.
A mentor can help a young person understand life better, respond to every-day challenges more effectively and learn more about themselves in the process. A mentor serves many roles and changes hats as needed as an adviser, counselor, guide, tutor and teacher. Interacting with a caring adult exposes young people to new ways of seeing things and appreciating life based on experiences they haven't had yet.
One person involved with mentoring young people noted that mentors are important because the future of the individuals they mentor is important. She finds it hard to quantify the impact though. You don't know how your involvement in the life of another person will make a difference down the road. "One touch of a mentor can reach multiple generations, across color lines and even into foreign lands," she said.
As Mack of Big Brothers Big Sisters shared with me recently, "Too many young people do not have a caring adult mentor to provide encouragement and support ... and programs need volunteers to close the gap."
Mentors can help nurture a positive outlook, create strong relationships and help others recognize what they enjoy doing and how to reach their goals in life.
More people, according to Mack, are needed to increase the high-school graduation rate (we are making progress) and to help teen-age moms (more than 300 in Forsyth County) stay in school and learn how to get access to the community resources they need to break the cycle.
BBBS has more than 100 young people on its waiting list (girls wait 6-9 months while boys may be on the list for as long as 24 months) and volunteers are also needed to mentor children of prisoners (approximately 1,200 in Forsyth County).
As Mack shared with me, "the presence of a strong caring adult (mentor) in a young person's life has been shown to reduce drug and alcohol usage in teens ... to improve family relationships ... and improve performance in schools."
Take a moment to thank a mentor in your life -- a team coach, teacher, concerned neighbor, pastor or another caring adult who made a difference -- and then consider becoming a mentor yourself.
You will benefit -- and learn -- as much as the person you help.
Nigel Alston lives in Winston-Salem. He can be reached at nalston1@triad.rr.com.
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