Let there be light - yours

"Believing in yourself is not for you; it's for every person who has touched your life in a significant way and for every person your life will touch the same way five minutes from now, or five centuries from now."

-- Jaye Miller

"How are you spreading your light today?" That was the question I asked subscribers to my Monday Morning Inspiration message. Each of us makes an impact within our circle of influence -- those people around us who we daily interact with -- and to some degree with others, outside that circle. My challenge to the group was to think about how we are positively influencing others through our actions, or "spreading our light."

Several years ago, I knew an individual whom people avoided if at all possible. She was definitely not spreading her light, but infecting others with a negative or less-than-desirable attitude. It was infectious and people recognized that and wanted to stay clear of her. You had only to ask her simple question like, "How are you?" That's all it took for the flood gates to open. A litany of complaints followed about how life was unfair, how her job was terrible, what illnesses she had and on and on and on. A simple greeting could turn into a reason to run away.

Maybe you have encountered someone like that, too. They can drain your energy, change the workplace environment and, if you are around them too long, impact your attitude. You can get caught up in the pity party and before long, you too are spreading gloom and doom.

That was the focus of a message from the Daily OM (www.dailyom.com) recently, "Spreading Your Light, How You Affect Others Daily."

I was reminded of that person we all wanted to avoid years ago as I read the beginning of the message: "As the pace and fullness of modern life serve to isolate us from one another, the contact we do share becomes vastly more significant. We unconsciously absorb each other's energy, adopting the temperament of those with whom we share close quarters, and find ourselves changed after the briefest encounters."

It doesn't take long for the radar to detect the vibes radiating from us. "Everything we do or say has the potential to affect not only the individuals we live, work, and play with but also those we've just met." The message continued. "Though we may never know the impact we have had or the scope of our influence, accepting and understanding that our attitudes and choices will affect others can help us remember to conduct ourselves with grace at all times."

Think about your attitude and the choices you make, about how you conduct yourself, and the impact it can have beyond what you see at the moment.

Years ago, my wife, Sarah, complimented a 12-year old student in a summer enrichment program. That student, now 28, shared what Sarah had said and the impact it had on her after a chance meeting earlier this year. Those words of encouragement made a positive difference in the woman's life over the last 16 years.

We can "create an atmosphere" that is encouraging and helps people thrive, according to the message, "When we seek always to be friendly, helpful, and responsive." And there are a few questions we can ask ourselves as we interact with people each day: Do they feel appreciated, respected, liked? In doing so, we may find out something about ourselves and how we are seen through their eyes.

Here is one thing you can do that has immediate impact and can be given freely, and often -- smile. The act alone can make a huge difference in a person's world and temporarily brighten their day. Sometimes that is all we need -- a ray of hope, a burst of sunshine -- to keep moving forward.

The message concluded with an important point. It is the demeanor we project and not the quality of our wondrous inner landscapes that people see.

That is often overlooked. What are you projecting through your voice, your passion for life, your facial features and choice of words? A take-away from the message: How we behave can be as important as who we are.

Spreading your light can have a ripple effect.

Nigel Alston is a Dale Carnegie trainer and motivational speaker who lives in Winston-Salem. He can be reached at nalston1@triadrr.com.