Ask Amy - Gift of expensive bracelet means more than just cash

By: JournalNow Staff | TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES
Published: November 01, 2009

Dear Amy: I have been coaching at the grade-school level for 12 years. This past season of basketball was my last.

As a gift for the years I have dedicated to the sport, all the parents donated money toward a coaching gift as they usually do. However, since this year was a bigger "thank you," instead of money, one parent picked out a bracelet for me. It is very expensive and made of gold. However, it is not my style.

While I am very thankful for the gesture, I really would prefer to exchange it or just return it and keep the money. Could I do this without offending the gift-givers, or should I just keep it? -- Curious Coach

Dear Coach: This bracelet is your property, and you can do what you want with it, but I would urge you to see this a little differently. While these parents surely want you to be happy with your gift, if you let them know you are returning it for the money, they'll be hurt.

I understand that we live in an age of excessive self-satisfaction, but I'm wondering if my grandfather might have preferred cash to the engraved silver medal he received in 1910 and which I now treasure. What I'm trying to say is that sometimes we should keep our gifts of appreciation, even if we don't particularly like them.

Dear Amy: I understand your point about the dentist and dental assistant calling you "Mom." Any health-care professional should treat you with respect and courtesy; however, I am a mom and a dentist and refer to my patients in this way. I never mean it to be condescending.

Treating children in a dental setting can be physically and mentally challenging at times. Would you prefer I concentrate on what title to call the parent so as not to be disrespectful or concentrate on the scared child? -- Dr. M

Dear Dr. M: By all means, concentrate on the child. Call me "Mom" if it helps the child, but don't call me "Mom" when I'm in the waiting room, settling my co-pay.

Readers may send questions to Ask Amy via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.