Gift from the heart enriches spirits in ways money can't

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's the holiday season and we've made it through Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Now, the next major holiday is around the corner, and for too many, it's a difficult time to purchase gifts. Money is tight. A message I came across while looking through some motivational material recently offers some ways to make it through the season without spending a lot of money. They do require an investment of time, though.

The message was simple and focused on what was described as "priceless gifts." Not the gifts we buy in the mall, but the gifts of our feelings, our connections and relationships with others. Those intangibles you can't place a dollar value on. They are common-sense things that you and I can do daily that don't cost a penny. Time, maybe, but not money.

One gift is to listen. We have to "listen with both ears open," according to Dr. Phil. It requires you to pay attention, to be interested in other people and not think about what you are going to say as soon as a person stops talking. It isn't the "pretend-to-listen" posture we sometimes display when we're preoccupied with other thoughts. It also isn't "selective listening," when we pick and choose what we want to hear. It's really focusing on the other person, taking note of what is being said and how. Listening with your eyes and ears.

That makes a person feel important, but it requires patience, practice and a willingness to let the other person do a great deal of the talking. If you do it well, you will probably demonstrate another gift -- affection. When unwrapped, affection is a series of small actions that demonstrate the fondness and love we have for family and friends. These small acts can include hugs, kisses, pats on the back and holding hands. A hug is the perfect gift.

But don't stop there; laugh a little, too. It will go a long way, especially if it's the kind of laughter that produces tears in your eyes, where you clap your hands and others laugh with you.

While it is good to strengthen relationships with hugs and kisses, and to enjoy a good laugh, it's also good to spend time alone. Solitude is another free gift. You should unwrap it from time to time. We all have those moments when we just want to be left alone. Be sensitive and honor those moments. Give the gift of solitude to others, too.

I like this one -- the gift of a favor. It could take the form of a random act of kindness, an act of good will or a good deed for another. What if you went out of your way to do something kind? It doesn't have to be a big thing. And, by the way, don't ask for anything in return. That's what makes it special.

Reducing your thoughts to paper is an act and gift with long-lasting impact, too. Think about a time when you received a note of appreciation for a job well done, or for helping another person. How often do you take a look at that note? A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime. That's the power of the gift of a written note.

It provides the same impact as a compliment. What do you like about a person, his or her qualities or characteristics? What is a strength you like about him or her? Why? A simple, sincere, "You look great," "You did a super job with …" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day. Giving a kind word or admiring comment is truly a gift.

And last, but not least -- especially at this time of year -- the gift of a cheerful spirit. Having a positive outlook or smile on your face does wonders for you and others. Even if you don't feel in the spirit, do something cheerful anyway. Feeling follows action.

If you are on a tight budget and are looking for an inexpensive gift this holiday season, try any one of the above ideas.

It's more an investment than an expense.

■ Nigel Alston is a Dale Carnegie trainer and motivational speaker who lives in Winston-Salem. He can be reached at nalston1@triad.rr.com.