Warrior Sons - Military family keeps up tradition

Throughout Jackie Williams' life, the world of the military has been her world.

She is the daughter of a military man, the sister of military men, the wife of a military man and the mother of military men.

"It's really all I have known my whole life," she said.

Her father, Armand DeSantis, was career Navy. Now 80, he joined when he was 17 and had served in Korea and Vietnam by the time he retired as a lieutenant 30 years later.

For many years, DeSantis was the flag secretary (officer in charge of all correspondence) to an admiral, and, growing up, Williams, who is 53, lived in Italy, Spain, Belgium and Norway as well as Alaska and Washington. Her mother was a paralegal in the Navy.

Two of her three brothers grew up to serve in the military, and her second husband, Russ Williams, who went on to retire from the Army as a captain, was shot down over South Vietnam when he was an Army pilot.

And now both of Williams' sons from her first marriage are Marines with four tours of duty in Iraq between them.

During his second tour, her older son, 24-year-old Cpl. Armand Jacob "A.J." Anderson was seriously wounded while serving with the 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marines. He was shot in the right leg and foot. Because of nerve damage, healing has been slow, and, since January 2006, he has been recovering at Camp Lejeune in Maxwell Hall, more commonly called the Wounded Warrior Barracks.

A.J. Anderson planned to make a career of the Marines, but his injuries preclude that.

"A.J. has wanted to be a Marine ever since I could remember," she said.

The Marine Corps is in the process of determining the degree of his disability before discharging him - perhaps by the end of the year, and he is looking into the possibility of becoming a law-enforcement officer.

The two brothers have an especially strong bond, Williams said, and her younger son, Matthew Anderson, followed his brother into the Marines. Now 21 and a lance corporal, he is in the midst of his second tour. Serving with the 2nd Combat Logistics Battalion, he is based at the Al Asad, the second-largest American airbase in Iraq.

In an e-mail interview, Matt Anderson said that during his two tours he has been impressed by how many people are working to make Iraq better by building schools, hospitals and getting power, food and water to people.

"I think that we are doing an amazing job over here," he said.

And the people there appreciate it, he said. People have said to him, "Thank you for your help; it really does mean a lot to have you over here in a time of need.'"

He wishes that more people in America were aware of the positive side of what is going on there. Word about all the good things doesn't seem to make it back home, he said. "It seems almost as if they concentrate most of their effort on reporting to the evil that sleeps in this country."

Whatever feelings people may have about the war, Williams said, she thinks that it's important to support the soldiers. Williams owns a store on Reynolda Road called Sweetie's that sells gourmet chocolates, coffees and gifts. And, with supporting the troops in mind, she invited people on active duty to the store in July so that members of the public could visit with them.

Since late June, she also has been putting together treat packages for people to send to the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. In a play on the military ration called Meal, Ready to Eat (MRE), she is calling the packages Goodies, Ready to Eat.

So that people don't have to worry about dealing with customs forms at the post office, she provides the necessary forms for shipping them. And, for those who want to show their support but who don't know a soldier personally, she developed contacts with officers with North Carolina connections willing to accept and distribute packages to their soldiers.

As of last week, 117 people in Winston-Salem had sent packages through the store. All but a few went to Iraq, and more than half were sent to a soldier the person sending the package did not know personally.

While one or both of her sons have been in Iraq, Williams has also had to cope with serious situations at home. In December 2005, her mother went into the hospital because of pneumonia, and, while she was there, doctors discovered a mass in her abdomen.

"They wheeled her away into the operating room, and that was the last time I saw her with her eyes open," she said.

Not long after her mother died, her father discovered that he had lung cancer. He has since moved in with Williams and her husband.

Williams' day starts at 5:30 or 6 a.m. She fixes breakfast for her father and husband. For six weeks, she was taking her father in for radiation treatment before heading off to Sweetie's. She goes home to make lunch for her father and returns to the store. Although it closes at 6 p.m., it's usually more like 7:30 before she can get home to fix dinner.

Somewhere in there, she tries to catch up with her sons in one way or another. She talks to A.J. Anderson three or four times a week and goes to see him at Camp Lejeune a couple of times a month. She sends Matt Anderson an e-mail every day, a letter three or four times a week and a goody package to share with his buddies every couple of weeks.

When he is on a mission, he may be out of e-mail contact with his mother for lengthy periods.

"I have sometimes gone three, four, five weeks without communication," Williams said.

But as long as she's not hearing anything from other sources, she figures that everything is OK.

Matt Anderson said he knows that his mother worries about him. It's good she cares enough to worry, he said, "But I don't like the fact that she thinks about it too much."

His most-pressing concern at the moment, he said, is getting back to the United States in time to be able to spend time with his grandfather.

"The last time I was out here, I found out the family had lost our matriarch, my grandmother, the day following Christmas, and, believe me, that's not a letter you want to have to sign for. The Marines out here definitely dread hearing that they have to go sign for a Red Cross Message about their loved ones, as, I'm sure, all other branches of the military do."

He is supposed to hear later this month whether he will be returning to the United States in September or whether his tour will be extended to April.

As for Williams' feelings about the U.S. presence in Iraq, she said she thinks that the United States has a valid mission there. Where it has gone wrong, she thinks, is politicians at home running the war rather than the generals on the ground. If the military had been in charge, she said, she thinks that we would be in a much better position and much closer to helping the citizens of Iraq regain their sovereignty.

"After all, that is what we're there to do," she said.

Whatever her feelings, she steadfastly supports her sons.

"Both of my sons, with four tours of duty between them, have told me that they feel the mission is valid," Williams said. "As a mother, I have to go with that, which is not to say I wouldn't like to have my sons out of there. I am extremely proud of both of them and the path they chose to take."

■ Kim Underwood can be reached at 727-7389 or at kunderwood@wsjournal.com.