When people lose limbs, they grieve that loss as they would the loss of a loved one, said Dr. Jeffrey Feldman.
They go through the same stages of grieving that accompany a death - shock, denial, depression, anger and bargaining. Eventually, most people come to some degree of acceptance. Feldman is a clinical psychologist and the program director of the occupational rehab programs at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center.
A young person, like Tamara Westfall, might mourn not only the loss of her limb, but also the loss of potential, he said. Athletes might grieve over not being able to perform the way they once did. People for whom appearance has always been important might be devastated by the damage to their bodies.
The biggest fear of young, single people who lose a limb, said Tony Saia, is that no one will ever love them. Saia, an owner of Bio-Tech Prosthetics & Orthotics, works with amputees.
If someone is already in a relationship, Feldman said, the relationship can be damaged.
"Sometimes the spouse or significant other can't tolerate or make the changes necessary," Feldman said. They might think, "I married so-and-so. This is not what I bargained for."
Dennis Watkins, Westfall's fiance, said that those thoughts never entered his mind. "I'm going to stay with her forever," he said.
One of the biggest psychological hurdles an amputee has to get over is that he is not ever going to be the same person he was before. Feldman said that they have to tell themselves, "I used to be person A. I had this accident or injury, and I have to be person B. I'm not going back to person A. I have to progressively rebuild my life as person C."
The best treatment, Feldman said, is getting out, dealing with the injury and "putting one foot in front of the other, literally."
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