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It's a matter of choice - Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.
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Published: October 4, 2009
Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.
Author unknown
I was in junior high school when it happened. I had a decision to make with limited options. My choice resulted in going to bed hungry.
It wasn't because we didn't have any food to eat that evening. It was the "food" itself. I didn't want it! My father had cooked a big pot of vegetable soup. (He is a great cook, by the way.) I am sure we had cornbread and iced tea, maybe a pitcher of Kool-Aid to go with it. Not a bad meal and filling, too.
I had a problem. I didn't like vegetable soup and didn't want to eat it that night. I had a choice -- eat what we had or not eat at all. I recall my father telling me my options. I went to bed hungry. I suppose I made a point, to whom is questionable, because everyone else ate dinner. I have made up for missing that meal and now I actually like vegetable soup.
I was reminded of that incident after reading a story about a man with a flat tire and his limited options. He was driving on a long and lonely road, according to the story, the last 65 miles of it unpaved, in order to watch Hopi Indian ceremonial dances in Arizona. Afterward, he returned to his car only to find that it had a flat tire. Fortunately, he had a spare. He put it on and drove to the only service station on the Hopi reservation.
"Do you fix flats?" he asked the attendant.
"Yes," the man replied.
"How much do you charge?" he asked.
With a twinkle in his eye, the man replied, "What difference does it make?"
It didn't. This is what is known as a "Hobson's choice." That's a situation that forces a person to accept whatever is offered or go without. You either "take it or leave it." According to Barbara Berliner in The Book of Answers, the phrase was inspired by 16th-century entrepreneur Thomas Hobson, who hired out horses in strict rotation in his stable in Cambridge, England. There was no choosing by the customer -- it was strictly his (Hobson's) choice. His customers were offered the choice of either taking the horse nearest the door or not taking one at all.
Unlike Hobson's customers though, most of the time we really do have a choice and the choice we make can make a difference. Our choices are not always dictated by someone else. We may not always believe it ... thinking we have to do such and such.
When we realize that most of what we do we do by choice, then we are living intentionally, instead of existing, going with the flow or allowing others to choose for us.
Here is an idea for you to consider. It's your choice, of course. For the next 48 hours, eliminate the words "I have to" from your vocabulary and substitute the words "I choose to." Don't say, "I have to work late tonight." Instead, say, "I choose to work late."
When you choose to do something, you take control of your life. Instead of saying, "I have to stay home," try "I choose to stay home." The way you spend your time is your choice. You set the priorities. You are responsible. You have control.
There is very little in this life that we have to do. We choose to do certain things because we believe it will be for the best. And the choices we make can make our lives happier and more fulfilled.
The difficulty in life is the choice. Choose well. I'll eat the vegetable soup the next time.
Nigel Alston lives in Winston-Salem. He can be reached at nalston1@triad.rr.com.
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