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A life lived fully to the end
Doug Cherry, who was featured in Journal's end-of-life series, dies
Journal File Photo
"Life is filled with good things and bad things, and we make the best of it," Doug Cherry said in a January article in the Winston-Salem Journal. Cherry, who had congestive heart failure, died Tuesday at 72.
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Published: May 14, 2009
Doug Cherry, who believed in living every day as fully as possible, died Tuesday.
"He was comfortable," said his daughter, Melanie Cherry-Conklin, who was with him when he died.
Cherry, 75, had congestive heart failure. He had been a patient at Hospice & Palliative CareCenter of Winston-Salem since November 2006; this year, the Winston-Salem Journal has told his story in a series of accounts about end-of-life issues and hospice .
Cherry died at home.
"I'm very happy that I was able to keep him at home because that was one of his biggest wishes," Cherry-Conklin said.
That wouldn't have been possible without the help of the people who work with hospice, she said. "They were tremendous support from every angle."
A doctor, a nurse and a chaplain were among those who regularly came to Cherry's home. His physician, Dr. Karen Cross, had seen him earlier in the day. Cherry-Conklin was there, Cross said, telling him what a wonderful father he was.
"I am in awe of the relationship he had with Melanie, how close they were," Cross said.
After Cherry died, a hospice nurse came to the house to declare him dead, and Cross signed the death certificate.
Cherry-Conklin said she is doing OK.
"I'm hanging in there," Cherry-Conklin said. "The good thing is I had ample opportunity to say whatever I wanted to, and to say goodbye to him, which is a big positive."
Cherry moved to Winston-Salem in 2003 at the urging of Cherry-Conklin, who was living here. He had spent most of his life in upstate New York.
His family was planning to have his body cremated and to send the ashes to New York, where a memorial service will be held sometime next week.
Cherry's Australian cattle dog, Hudson, will live with Cherry-Conklin and her husband, Joe.
In the accounts of his life, Cherry said he believed in the power of positive thinking.
"Life is filled with good things and bad things, and we make the best of it," he said in January.
"He was very upbeat and optimistic and forward-looking," Cross said.
He also had a playful crustiness that she enjoyed, she said.
Ken Bradstock, the hospice chaplain who worked with Cherry, said he is really going to miss him.
"For me, he was a very special man," Bradstock said. "I made a very deep connection with Doug."
JoAnn Davis, hospice's executive director, said that hospice is about living the best life that you can, and that Cherry and his family exemplified that.
"It's all about how you live," she said.
Hospice will continue to work with Cherry's family and others close to him.
When a patient in hospice care dies, hospice's bereavement team is notified, said Chris Dellinger, the leader of team. After two weeks, a team member calls to check in with family members and others to see how they are doing.
"We talk about how they are feeling," Dellinger said. "We stress to them that it is time for them to take care of themselves."
The bereavement-team member also lets the survivors know that hospice offers grief counseling at no charge. The bereaved will then work with Donna Hampton, the director of grief and bereavement services, and the other members of her team.
The goal of the counseling sessions is to educate people about the grief process and to help them come to terms with their loss, Hampton said. "There is a myriad of emotions."
That can include anger as well as sadness. Hampton said that there are many misconceptions about how coming to terms with a loss works, including how long it should take.
As many as 12 counseling sessions are offered. Some people in grief may come in right away, but for others, it might be months or years before they ask for help.
"There is no time limit," she said.
Hampton said she knows of a man who had lost his mother when he was 12. At the age of 36, he came in for counseling to help him deal with his mother's death after becoming a parent himself stirred up some unresolved issues.
People also can participate in support groups. Most of the counseling groups have a particular focus, including death of a parent and death of a spouse. There are support groups for young people, and for people who lost someone to suicide.
People do not have to have been clients of hospice to take advantage of the counseling program and support groups.
■ Kim Underwood can be reached at 727-7389 or at kunderwood@wsjournal.com.
■ More information about Hospice & Palliative CareCenter of Winston-Salem is available at www.hospicecarecenter.org.
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