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Asking the right questions determines our quality of life
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Published: April 26, 2009
To be on a quest is nothing more or less than to become an asker of questions.
Sam Keen
I have more questions than answers. Maybe you do, too. And the answers to my questions often lead to more questions.
"Questions can be dangerous and take you to the edge of what is known and comfortable," says Dawna Markova, the author of I Will Not Die an Unlived Life. I agree. Her book, a favorite of mine, is full of questions.
For example, she once asked a poet what was the first question she asked herself every morning. The poet didn't miss a beat and responded without giving the question much thought. "Who was I before the alarm clock rang? Who was the stranger I was in my dreams?"
The same question was asked of a CEO, who gave a predictable answer. "What problems are waiting for me to solve today?"
The responses to the same question by two different people produced two very different answers. The questions they ask direct their lives in different ways, according to Markova. Anticipating what problems wait for you at the office to get the adrenalin going is quite different from thinking about who you were before you woke up this morning.
How is your life being directed by the questions you are asking? Have you ever thought about that? Who was the person in your dreams before you woke this morning and read the morning paper, thought about that first cup of coffee and looked through the closet deciding what to wear?
Questions.
In your dreams, were you that successful person you want to be? Maybe you were a millionaire jet-setter, traveling around the world experiencing life to its fullest. Or you hit the big lottery for mega millions, called in and told the boss to take that job and ... well, you know.
What is the first question you ask yourself when your bare feet touch the floor, before your eyes open wide and the hot water touches your skin? What are you thinking when you brush your teeth, comb your hair and look in the mirror at the person you know so well? What thoughts are competing for your attention as you prepare for the day?
Michael J. Gelb, in his book How to Think like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day, states that the "questions that ‘engage our thoughts on a daily basis reflect our life purpose and influence the quality of our lives."
Our purpose is more than thinking about that first cup of coffee in the morning or what we are going to wear to work. It is deeper than "TGIF", complaining about Mondays, or wondering what the weather is going to be like. It is about living an intentional life.
Here are a few questions for you to consider; you never know where the exploration will lead you. What is it that is too soon, too late, or just the right time for in your life? What are the courageous conversations you need to have with yourself or others? How can you be your most true self? What do you love more than you fear?
What are the conditions that would allow your purpose to find you? What do you have to believe about death to fully celebrate life? What questions have you been avoiding?
"All new and original thought begins with a question, which leads to an exploration," writes Gelb. Where are your questions leading you? What questions are you asking yourself that engage your thought, reflect on your life purpose, direct your daily living and influence the quality of your life? And, what assumptions are you making when you ask them?
Nigel Alston is a Dale Carnegie trainer and motivational speaker who lives in Winston-Salem. He can be reached at nalston1@triad.rr.com.
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