Winston Salem Journal

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Nurturing friends help lifetime of useful habits

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Published: September 28, 2008

I had a flashback recently, to a time back in the day, after stumbling upon some old motivational material neatly stacked on a shelf in my garage. It reminded me of a time, right after I graduated from college, when I was learning how to win friends and influence people, actively listening to motivational tapes, reading inspirational books and learning the value of networking: lessons that are just as important today in the changing and challenging times we are experiencing. There is value in filling yourself with positive, encouraging information to meet challenges and obstacles and surrounding yourself with people who inspire you to keep moving forward in spite of those problems.

A few years after I graduated from college, I joined a multilevel marketing organization. We had a line of products to sell and were encouraged to sign up others to join the cause. A college friend and fraternity brother signed me up. Friends of his, church members, signed him up. There was a ripple effect. We all had big dreams, and I had circles and dollar signs in my eyes.

Yes, I was one of those people who called you on the phone, talked to you about an exciting opportunity and set up a meeting without giving you all the details. There had to be a hook to create the desire for you to find out more. The details would be revealed later, when we met or you attended a meeting, showing you how you could make money and your dream could come true too. At least that was the plan.

I didn't do much selling, draw enough circles to persuade others to join, or make any money to speak of, but I did meet a great group of people who positively influenced me for life. Through my association with them, I developed the habit of listening to positive motivational tapes by such people as Nido Qubein, the president of High Point University.

I also read inspirational, motivational books and articles by such authors as W. Clement Stone and Napoleon Hill. Hill's book Think and Grow Rich is a classic. It is timeless.

I learned from Stone in his book The Success System That Never Fails that you can learn something from anyone and in any situation. You have to apply what he labeled the R2A2 method: recognize, relate, associate and assimilate information to be successful.

I continue to practice those habits, listening to motivational CDs now, instead of tapes, reading inspirational, self-improvement material and associating with positive people. Doing so continues to be a source of inspiration in good and challenging times.

An old message I re-read by Bryan Hall, a success coach, motivational expert and author, prompted this walk down memory lane. His comments reminded me of the positive and powerful influence of surrounding yourself with caring, loving and giving people.

Those people are in your "mastermind" group, as Napoleon Hill would describe it. According to Hall, "The more you surround yourself with the energies of love and positive-thinking people, the more you enhance your own spirit, thoughts -- energies -- and the more you draw to your life what you are meant to be, do, and have."

It is good to break away from the crowd and be yourself. "Put YOU into whatever you do, from business to personal relationships to ... anything and everything!" Hall continued.

"Find peace and the life-force of love by taking the time to go within, listen to Divine guidance -- your intuition -- and act upon it." That's good advice. "The ‘secrets' to a successful life are already within you. All you have to do is extend your hand, and go within yourself as deeply as you can, and learn how to ask for what you want from the overflowing abundance of the Universe." Hall also suggests getting into action with some simple steps and exercises, such as: Meditate or pray daily; pay attention to your thoughts, your body language and the words you speak more often; and get absolutely clear about what it is that you want to be, do and have.

Positive, motivational, inspirational messages and advice, like Hall's; good books that challenge you to think and act, make a difference. As you develop these useful habits, reflect and look within, remember to associate and surround yourself with positive, caring, loving people to encourage, support and inspire you. Why? According to Hall, "Bad association spoils useful habits."

■ Nigel Alston is a Dale Carnegie trainer and motivational speaker. He can be reached at nalston1@triad.rr.com.

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