News
Email
Print
Same-sex domestic violence: Harder to get help
Stigma of their sexual orientation is often an added burden for victims
ADVERTISEMENT
Published: September 18, 2008
SOUTHMONT
A year ago, Samantha Gutierrez met Tammy Starlette Miller West and fell in love. On Labor Day, that love ended in death.
West is now in the Davidson County Jail, charged with murder in the shooting death of Gutierrez, her live-in girlfriend. West has yet to enter a plea in the case. She is scheduled to appear in court Nov. 18. Her court-appointed attorney, Charles Harp, declined to comment on the case.
The women's relationship showed the classic signs of domestic violence, relatives say. Gutierrez tried to leave, and filed charges against West in January, but the charges were dismissed when Gutierrez didn't show up in court. A week before she died, Gutierrez told her sister that she was planning to leave for good.
For victims of domestic violence who are in same-sex relationships, asking for and getting help is doubly hard, advocates for victims of domestic violence say.
"They have to continually ‘out' themselves in the process of trying to get help," said April Burgess-Johnson, the director of outreach and prevention for the N.C. Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
Reliable statistics on domestic violence among same-sex couples are hard to come by, experts say.
According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, there were 3,534 reported incidents of domestic violence against lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender persons in 2006, the most recent statistics available. The data, however, are obtained from major cities that have anti-violence programs -- such as Chicago, New York, San Francisco and Houston. It doesn't include any statistics from North Carolina. The N.C. Coalition Against Domestic Violence is working to change that, Burgess-Johnson said.
Studies indicate that domestic violence among same-sex couples occurs at about the same rate as it does with heterosexual couples, she said.
Victims of domestic violence can file for a restraining order under Chapter 50B of the N.C. General Statutes. The law provides for protection for such groups as spouses, "persons of the opposite sex who live together or have lived together," and "persons of the opposite sex who are in a dating relationship or have been in a dating relationship."
It does not say anything specific about same-sex couples, but gays and lesbians who live together can apply for restraining orders under the section of the law that covers current or former household members.
The law does not provide any protection for same-sex couples who are dating but not living together.
The N.C. Coalition Against Domestic Violence has been lobbying to change the law for years but the General Assembly has resisted, Burgess-Johnson said.
Gutierrez never filed for a restraining order. In January, she accused West of assaulting her and threatening to shoot her. But when Gutierrez didn't show up in court in February, the charges were dropped.
Tonya Windsor said that her sister tried to leave West several times but always came back. The week before she died, Windsor said, Gutierrez told her that she was going to leave West for good.
"It's really sad," she said recently. "It seems like it's a nightmare."
The biggest challenge is getting the public to take domestic violence in same-sex relationships as seriously as it does in opposite-sex relationships, experts say.
It's easier to see abuse when a man is accused of beating his girlfriend or wife, said Shannon Gilreath, a professor at Wake Forest University School of Law who teaches a class on sexuality and the law.
"People looking at gay relationships between men seem to think there would be no power dynamic like the sort that exists in straight relationships," Gilreath said.
And because of the stigma often tied to same-sex relationships, gays and lesbians are even less likely to report abuse, he said.
"We know domestic-violence statistics are overwhelmingly underreported," he said. "We just suspect that there is a greater underreporting in the gay and lesbian community because of the stigma of announcing sexual orientation."
Gay people worry about how law-enforcement and other agencies will respond to their sexual orientation, Gilreath said.
Also, some abusers may threaten to expose a partner's sexual orientation, said Christine Murray, a professor of counseling at UNC Greensboro and a co-director of Project Safe Love, which provides resources for victims and abusers in same-sex relationships.
And if a person hasn't come out to family members, he or she might not be able to turn to relatives for help, Murray said.
Some domestic-violence programs may not be suited for victims in same-sex relationships, she said. For example, a man in a same-sex relationship wouldn't be able to stay at a shelter, which in many cases is restricted to women and children.
The good thing is that the law is neutral, said Samuel Johnson, a lawyer in Greensboro who is a member of the N.C. Gay Advocacy Legal Alliance.
"You don't have to say there is a sexual relationship," he said. "If you're under the same roof, the law is not going to ask what the nature of the relationship is."
Burgess-Johnson said that anecdotally she has heard that some judges misinterpret the law, though she couldn't provide any concrete examples.
The N.C. Coalition Against Domestic Violence started an initiative called Project Rainbow Net after the death of a gay man in Davie County. Corey Hawkins had filed a restraining order against his estranged boyfriend, Rayford Clyde Hendrix, but in June 2003, Hawkins' body was found buried in Hendrix's backyard. Hawkins had been shot in the head, and Hendrix was later convicted of second-degree murder and is now serving up to 30 years in prison.
Carol Manion, Hawkins' aunt, said that her nephew had a hard time getting a restraining order because of his sexual orientation. His friends were eventually able to help him, and a restraining order was granted in September 2002.
Cindy Hendricks, the director of Davie Domestic Violence Services and Rape Crisis Center, said she now is seeing more awareness of the problem. Judges and prosecutors are treating crimes against gays and lesbians as seriously as they do with heterosexuals, she said.
Manion said that Project Rainbow Net has helped train law-enforcement officials and domestic-violence workers about domestic violence among same-sex couples. That training is working, she said.
"I feel like it's making a difference statewide," she said.
Norma Gill is just beginning to deal with the death of her daughter, Gutierrez.
"I never thought it would come to the point of a gun," Gill said.
"You never know what goes on behind closed doors."
■ Michael Hewlett can be reached at 727-7326 or at mhewlett@wsjournal.com.
What the law says
A restraining order, known as a 50-B when it pertains to allegations of domestic violence, allows police to make an immediate arrest if the accused violates the order by visiting the victim. Here is how state law defines domestic violence:
50B‑1. Domestic violence; definition.
(a) Domestic violence means the commission of one or more of the following acts upon an aggrieved party or upon a minor child residing with or in the custody of the aggrieved party by a person with whom the aggrieved party has or has had a personal relationship, but does not include acts of self‑defense:
(b) For purposes of this section, the term "personal relationship" means a relationship wherein the parties involved:
(1) Are current or former spouses;
(2) Are persons of opposite sex who live together or have lived together;
(3) Are related as parents and children, including others acting in loco parentis to a minor child, or as grandparents and grandchildren. For purposes of this subdivision, an aggrieved party may not obtain an order of protection against a child or grandchild under the age of 16;
(4) Have a child in common;
(5) Are current or former household members;
(6) Are persons of the opposite sex who are in a dating relationship or have been in a dating relationship. For purposes of this subdivision, a dating relationship is one wherein the parties are romantically involved over time and on a continuous basis during the course of the relationship. A casual acquaintance or ordinary fraternization between persons in a business or social context is not a dating relationship.
(c) As used in this Chapter, the term "protective order" includes any order entered pursuant to this Chapter upon hearing by the court or consent of the parties. (1979, c. 561, s. 1; 1985, c. 113, s. 1; 1987, c. 828; 1987 (Reg. Sess., 1988), c. 893, ss. 1, 3; 1995 (Reg. Sess., 1996), c. 591, s. 1; 1997‑471, s. 1; 2001‑518, s. 3; 2003‑107, s.
SOURCE: N.C. GENERAL STATUTES
Email
Print
