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Conversation on race continues
Obama's speech provides opportunity for listeners to get to heart of the matter
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Published: March 26, 2008
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. -- Marcel Proust
A fraternity brother thought Sen. Barack Obama's recent speech, "A More Perfect Union," was courageous. As a matter of fact, he thought it was the best since the August 1963 "I Have a Dream" speech delivered by the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
"Brothers, I would like to encourage you and your families to take the time to listen to the speech given by Sen. Barack Obama," he wrote, urging action. It was a big deal to him. You could sense his pride and excitement.
At the heart of the issue is race, its complexities and the challenges we all face in understanding and appreciating one another. Also being challenged are our own personal prejudices, biases and cultural misunderstandings.
Obama put the issue squarely on the table, in black and white. He talked about white and black resentment -- understanding and misunderstanding each other and getting beyond our differences to realize a more perfect union. Unlike in a seminar I participated in years ago, there was no mistake this time about identifying the issue.
At that time, in the early 1990s, a group of people sat in a downtown hotel room for two days discussing race and gender issues. We were white, black, male and female. And we were being challenged. The late Charles H. King, nationally known for his provocative seminars and the author of Fire in My Bones, led the session.
Sitting in a semicircle, we listened to a tape recording of a man sharing his personal desires and aspirations. They were universal in nature, things we all want. We were instructed to describe what we heard. Simple instructions, right? Anything but, it turned out.
"I want a job, just like you," the man's voice uttered, filling the room. "I want a two-car garage, just like you," it continued. "I want a house, just like you."
Listening to the comments shared by one person then another, King's response was the same: wrong.
"It's a frustrated man," I said with confidence, at my turn to share. Two thirds of the class had provided their input. "Hell, I thought you would get it right," he bellowed. I could only shake my head. I felt I had let him down.
The voice was that of a black man. I knew that, yet I didn't say that. That was the point of the exercise. We don't identify things as they are. We talk around issues. We sidestep the heart of an issue. In other words, we often don't talk about and identify the real issue, whether we agree or not, that when addressed could really make a difference.
And we don't do it for any number of reasons. Fear that we might be misunderstood. Fear that we might be called a racist. Fear that we may be seen as a troublemaker. Fear that it is not politically correct.
Well, it seems that everyone is now talking about the elephant in the room, race. It is water-cooler conversation. Responses to the speech are posted online, pro and con. Friends and colleagues are talking about the subject.
A friend, white and Republican, and I engaged in a lively conversation about the speech. In no time, almost half an hour had passed. The conversation was interrupted only by an appointment minutes away. We had a great conversation about the black church, the role of the black preacher and what this friend might come to understand about our culture if he visited any number of black churches.
How has Obama's speech made a difference? It depends on whom you ask. Conservative Ann Coulter, in a column, "Throw Grandma Under the Bus," wants to know, "How long must we all marinate in the angry resentment of black people?"
It isn't as much about wallowing in resentment as it is about change. Seeing yourself, white, black or Hispanic, in the mirror honestly. Recognizing how you feel, seeing things from another perspective and being willing to change.
That was the challenge for another friend, Debora. Seeing only snippets of the speech on TV, she, a black woman, read it and was moved emotionally. "I am sitting at my desk, crying," she wrote. "I have a knot in my throat and water drops on the pages of the printed speech."
That's digesting the words, what they mean and being changed in the process. Obama had touched a nerve. "He's stepping on my toes because he's making me realize my own prejudices that I need to come to terms with to live in this world and behave as a parent to my future generation leader-children."
Her head was swirling, like mine years ago after being challenged by King. Whether you are for Obama or against him, the issue is on the table. If we decide to see with new eyes, we may realize a more perfect union. It is time for a change.
■ Nigel Alston is a Dale Carnegie Trainer and motivational speaker. He can be reached at nalston1@triad.rr.com.
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