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Readers from as far away as Pennsylvania sent get-well cards and letters to SAM.

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By Ask SAM | Journal Columnist

Published: June 24, 2008

After four months of cancer treatment and recovery, I am back as Ronda Bumgardner, Ask SAM columnist. I am no longer Ronda Bumgardner, cancer patient.

"Cancer survivor" is the term commonly used, but the word "survivor" makes me think of moldy-smelling lifeboats. I am a survivor, but you know me as SAM. I wanted to let you know SAM is back at her messy desk at the Winston-Salem Journal, ready to answer your questions and solve your problems.

Cancer didn't stop the SAM column. While I was absent, the library staff here at the newspaper, led by Julie Harris, and my assistant, Jason Tyson, took over.

Tomorrow, I'll get back to answering questions about dogs that won't stop barking and traffic lights that won't turn green. Today, I'd like write about my cancer journey and briefly acknowledge a few of the people who helped me heal, including you, the readers.

Advice received

This week marks my eighth anniversary as SAM. I've learned a lot from readers since taking over the column in 2000. Readers frequently pass along tips, or share their experiences. And when you sent me advice about coping with cancer, I paid attention.

You told me to laugh, and eat chocolate, and listen to my doctors, "at least part of the time."

You told me that you were praying for me.

You told me of your own battles with cancer, some as long as 30 years ago.

Many of you wrote that you weren't sure if I would receive your card, since I was out of work. But my husband, Ed, who works at the Journal, brought home my mail, and I read every card and saved every one.

Life, continued

Besides reading cards and e-mails, there wasn't much I felt like doing while recovering. The fatigue was overwhelming. I would take a two-hour nap, and wake to feel exactly as exhausted as I did before my nap.

I learned to crochet, sort of. And I discovered the healing power of yoga. Forsyth Medical Center has a yoga program for cancer patients, which put me in a sisterhood of patients and survivors, led by an instructor with endless patience and compassion.

Life didn't stop while I went through surgery and radiation. Friends and relatives moved, had miscarriages, lost their jobs and had their own cancer scares. My 17-year old cat died. I missed my aunt's funeral because I was in an operating room getting the cancer cut out of me.

I couldn't properly tend to my relationships while I was tending to me, but most of my friends and relatives understood.

Cancer isn't joyful, but it's not without light moments. When my husband, who is bald, got looks of pity from people in the oncology waiting room, I playfully accused him of stealing sympathy. He's bald by choice, not by chemo.

A few readers have asked about my cancer and my prognosis. And it's OK to ask me questions, by the way. Here are a few answers:

The lump wasn't discovered through a mammogram. It was detected by my husband. Thank you, Ed. I had Stage I breast cancer, invasive ductal carcinoma. And, no, breast cancer doesn't run in my family.

I didn't have chemotherapy, although some doctors recommended it because of my relatively young age. There is a 10 percent to 20 percent chance the cancer will return, with the greatest chance of recurrence in the next two years. Am I scared? No. Do I feel lucky? Yes. I feel blessed, but not singled out. That is to say, I don't believe that people who have Stage 4 cancer, or get cancer at the age of 18, are less loved by the divine than people with Stage 1 cancer, or healthy people.

I never anticipated having cancer at the age of 43, or worrying about if I would live long enough to see my son grow up. But life isn't a tidy package of what you've planned for.

Thanks for missing me and taking time to tell me that you cared. I hope you will continue to share your cancer experiences with me.

And thank you for reading this column.

■ E-mail: AskSAM@wsjournal.com.
■ Online: www.journalnow.com/asksam.

■ Write: Ask SAM, P.O. Box 3159, Winston-Salem, NC 27102.

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