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Fathers showed the way

Informal survey uncovers a range of lessons learned

Photo Courtesy of the Evans Family

Broadus Evans Jr. and Broadus Evans III together in the mountains in 1979.

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FATHER'S DAY

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Published: June 15, 2008

"My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, ‘You're tearing up the grass.' ‘We're not raising grass,' Dad would reply. ‘We're raising boys.'" -- Harmon Killibrew

For years, Marty McPeak carried 150-some pounds on his 6-foot-4-inch frame. When he walked into a clothing store and said he needed pants with a 29-inch waist and a 34-inch inseam, clerks would laugh and say, "You're not going to find that here."

Now that he has put on a couple of pounds, clerks laugh when he goes in and asks for pants with a 30-inch waist and 34-inch inseam.

His pants-buying troubles can be traced directly to his father, William E. McPeak, who died in 2001. McPeak also learned a couple of things that he really appreciates from his dad, such as the way he approached the world.

"My dad was a patient man," McPeak said.

To McPeak, that looked like a good way to go, so he works to be patient, too. He also took to heart his father's advice to live in a way that promotes respect.

I learned McPeak's inseam length and thoughts about his dad while asking people outside of Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center what they could point to and say, "That came from my father."

A trickier question

Asking people about their fathers is a lot trickier than asking about their mothers. More than one person said that his father wasn't a subject he cared to talk about. Most were happy to talk, though. When I asked the follow-up question of whether the person learned by direct instruction or by example, it went both ways.

Broadus Evans III's father, Broadus Evans Jr., who died 11 years ago, never told his son to drive fast. It was something his son picked up on his own.

"My dad, he put the pedal to the metal," Evans said "I do have a tendency to drive fast."

Other things, his father made a point of emphasizing.

"He taught me the importance of money management," Evans said. "I make sure that I don't get over my head in debt. Another thing he taught me was to always respect others and, in so doing, you will be respected."

Keeva Clark said that, without realizing it, she apparently picked up a certain walk from her father, John Hampton. Her mother, Linnie Clark, told her that her "somebody is about to get a piece of my mind" walk comes straight from him.

"I just laughed," Clark said.

There's no doubt about it, her mother said.

"I still don't see it," Clark said.

Annika Archie has no trouble tracing her love of fine cars to her father, Gary Speas. He drives a Mercedes. She drives a BMW.

"It's important to love yourself and give yourself the things you love," he told her.

On her own, she has taken the maxim a step farther.

"I love clothes," she said. "I love to shop."

It took Garret Cox no time at all to come up with his answer.

"He taught me how to do body work," Cox said.

As soon as Cox was old enough to handle a paint hose, his father, Carl Zoeller, had his son helping him work on cars. Cox said he was happy to do it. It was fun. Over the years, he learned how to do everything and, today, he does body work professionally.

"I'm very grateful," Cox said.

Robin Meter said that his father, Robert Meter, is not big on talking about things and that it was mainly from observing him that he learned about the importance of work, family and faith.

"He was a great example," Meter said.

Which put me in mind of Clarence Budington Kelland's quote, "He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."

One last thing. When opening those Father's Day gifts today, all you dads out there, keep in mind Bill Cosby's quote, "Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope."

■ Kim Underwood can be reached at 727-7389 or at kunderwood@wsjournal.com.

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