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Family is trying to find ways to cope with loss
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Coach Dino Gaudio gives a hug to the mother of Skip Prosser after a game against Virginia at Joel Coliseum in January.
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Published: July 26, 2008
Laura Jo Prosser, 79, said she finds it hard to believe that a year has passed since the death of her son, Skip.
Prosser -- a retired schoolteacher known by family friends and Wake Forest basketball fans as "Grandma Jo" -- has been staying busy at her home in St. Clairsville, in eastern Ohio. She still hears from fans at Xavier and Wake Forest, and she said she never tires of strangers stopping to talk about the son she calls "Skipper," who died last July 26 at the age of 56 after a massive heart attack.
"The outpouring of letters and phone calls from so many people keeps me going to this day," said Grandma Jo, who was no stranger to Joel Coliseum last basketball season.
She made five or six visits to Winston-Salem to keep an eye on her favorite team, traveling with her grandson Scott, one of Skip's sons who lives in Wheeling, W.Va.
Grandma Jo came to games for several reasons, but she said that the biggest was that for those two hours or so, she felt a little closer to her son. She often looked up to the rafters to see the big banner honoring him, and she said that, in a small way, it helped in the grieving process.
"There's so much love there, and Skip had such a passion for what he was doing, it just made me feel closer to him to go to games," Grandma Jo said. "I knew it was going to be hard to go because he wasn't there, but just seeing Dino (Gaudio) out there coaching helped."
Grandma Jo said she was never a big fan of the NBA but that after Skip died, she became passionate about following the New Orleans Hornets and the Dallas Mavericks. The Hornets feature Chris Paul, a former Wake Forest star, and David West, who played for Skip Prosser at Xavier. The Mavericks have Josh Howard, who played for Prosser during his final two seasons at Wake Forest.
"I really try to follow all of Skip's guys in the NBA because I know that's what he'd be doing," Grandma Jo said.
Gaudio remains close to Grandma Jo and often calls to check up on her. She has an open invitation to Wake Forest home games, and Gaudio makes sure she is comfortable, setting her up at a hotel when she comes to town.
Grandma Jo also spoke at the Wake Forest basketball banquet after last season.
"I really felt like I had to do that," she said. "But looking back, I feel bad that I also didn't thank Dino's parents because they have been a big help to me and our family. But through it all, I didn't shed a tear, and I think God was helping me along."
Gaudio said that Grandma Jo's remaining a part of the program was good for everybody.
"I just thought for sure she would break down or something, but I'll tell you what, she was great," Gaudio said of her talk to the team at the banquet. "Stan Cotten and I talked, and we were wondering when we could fit her in the program, and we decided she should talk early, and it couldn't have gone any better. She had some funny moments she shared with us about Skip, and she was so eloquent."
Gaudio and Grandma Jo also stay in touch with Prosser's widow, Nancy, who has moved back to Cincinnati. Nancy has returned to Winston-Salem a few times to see friends, but the only basketball game she attended was the opener against Fairfield -- the night that school officials raised a banner in Skip's honor and played a short video tribute.
"I'll be honest, she's still struggling. She really is having a hard time with this," Gaudio said. "She says, ‘Nobody knows' and I guess you don't unless you lose a spouse. You try to say ‘Yeah, Nance, I know how you feel' but she'll say ‘No you don't.'
"She's back in Cincinnati, she's working at the University of Cincinnati hospital, where she worked before, and she's back living in the same house they lived in in Cincinnati. But I'll be honest, she's having a hard time."
Grandma Jo and Skip's sister, Cindy, will travel to Cincinnati today to visit Skip's grave.
"It's hard to believe it's been almost a year," Grandma Jo said last week. "There's nothing worse than losing a child, but I look at it like this, I'm not the only one this has happened to, but you are just not prepared when it's so sudden."
Skip Prosser's sons, Mark and Scott, have stayed connected to basketball. Scott was in Winston-Salem for a week earlier this summer and helped out at the Wake Forest camp. Mark is an assistant college coach and recently changed jobs, moving from Bucknell to Wofford.
Mark, 29, said that chasing recruits during the hectic month of July has kept his mind occupied. He was in Orlando, Fla., at this time last year, and he had dinner with his father and other coaches the night before Skip died.
"It will be strange that he's not down here recruiting just like he was last year," Mark said. "I guess I think back to last year and the time we shared down here, and that was special.
"I really like to hear coaches come up to me and tell me stories about him. I never get tired of hearing those stories because it just gives me more to remember about him."
Mark credits his fiancee, Emily Criscione, with helping him through the difficult days after Skip's death. He said he was expecting the one-year anniversary to be a difficult time for the family.
"Our family is doing OK, and we are moving on as best we can," he said. "I know my dad would want me down here recruiting, because that's what you do as coaches, you work hard and keep going. So I know he would want me to be in Orlando chasing recruits."
Grandma Jo said that the hardest part of not having Skip around is seeing the void it left for Mark, Scott and Nancy.
"His boys need him, and he was a really great dad and, of course, he worshipped Nancy," Grandma Jo said. "And, you know, he really loved Winston-Salem and Wake Forest. I remember him telling me when he first took the job that he knew he was in the right place."
■ John Dell can be reached at 727-4081 or at jdell@wsjournal.com.
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