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'In Our Hearts': Death isn't supposed to be part of the game
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Published: August 31, 2008
Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy. - Eskimo Proverb
It is Monday, Aug. 25, as I write this column, the first day of school for most students, except sophomore Matt Gfeller. He played in his first and last varsity football game for Reynolds High School on Friday.
What should have been the start of an exciting football season ended tragically. A freak incident involving Gfeller in the football game between Reynolds and Greensboro's Page High School started the season off on a sad note.
Instead of celebrating a victory or getting over the disappointment of defeat and regrouping for the next game, coaches, teammates, fans, family members and friends cried and prayed. They hurt for Matt Gfeller and his family.
Two players on opposing teams were doing what they were trained and had practiced to do, playing hard and competing to win, when they collided.
That isn't unusual; hard hits, injuries, soreness, joy and pain are part of the game. You realize that when you suit up to play. What you don't plan for, however, is what happened this night: a serious injury that ended a life lived too short.
Matt Gfeller suffered a life-ending injury as a result of that collision, and two days later he died. Gfeller was playing in his first game, starting as an offensive lineman and linebacker.
Unfortunately, his untimely death, an unintended consequence of a contact sport, was not expected. Words can't express the loss I know his family suffers. His teammates hurt and grieve. Coaches struggle, watch film of the game and wonder why. A school family and community mourn a life cut short even before the first day of school.
Like Gfeller, I played offensive line and linebacker for Reynolds, though a long time ago. I have been in a few battles, hit a few players and been hit hard, too, suffering a concussion once and sitting out a couple of games. I was taught to put my head between a player's numbers on the jersey and run through him. That's a linebacker's mentality.
I remember those days of practicing in the hot August sun, getting through the drills, practicing several times a day and learning the plays.
By the time the season started, you were ready for that first game, hitting your opponent instead of your teammates. Playing both sides of the ball meant sucking it up and missing only a few plays in a game.
Now, a different team comes together doing what teammates do for one another -- providing encouragement and support and just being there in a time of need. This defining moment for some students will help shape and influence them and their behavior. Years from now, they will remember this incident, retell the story, and share how it affected their lives.
An e-mail from a Reynolds class reunion committee late Sunday evening, the day before the first day of school, read in part: "We have all read and heard the phrase: ‘It is the best of times. It is the worst of times.' That can certainly describe this past week at Reynolds High School."
The message included news about a multiclass reunion, the start of the new school year and information about Gfeller. "He was an Eagle Scout, and even though he had never attended a Class at RJR, he did have a ‘connection' to the school: his Eagle Scout Project was ‘sprucing up' the area next to the RJR Cafeteria."
There was another note, this one from Habitat for Humanity, where the Gfellers are active supporters, asking people to keep them in their prayers. And a Reynolds student started a Facebook group to pray for Gfeller, which included this comment from a Page High School football player: "I play football at Page and I would like to say on behalf of our entire team that we are all praying for Matt and his family. We have all been shocked by this and we will keep Matt in our thoughts and prayers for the rest of the season. May god help the reynolds community have strength during this tragedy. rest in peace #57 we will carry you in our hearts always."
What's next? Pray for the young student-athlete who survived the collision. Live one day at a time. Take the next step. Don't take life for granted. Be there when needed. And, when you look up at the stars on a Friday night during football season, imagine openings in heaven with love pouring through and feel Gfeller's presence.
He won't let you down. He promised.
■ Nigel Alston is a Dale Carnegie trainer and motivational speaker. He can be reached at nalston1@triad.rr.com.
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