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IMAGE: Young adults leery of Christians
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Published: August 3, 2008
‘‘The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself.''
--Anais Nin
"Are you a Christian?" the young lady asked, as I paid for my ice cream.
"Yes," I said, caught off guard. "Why do you ask?" I was more than curious now.
"You look like you are," she replied, as she handed me my change.
Well, just what prompted that? I thought. Here I am on a lazy Sunday afternoon, dressed casually in jeans, a white shirt and my Kangol cap, with no visible sign that said "Christian." Were my actions consistent with her perception of a Christian? I don't know. What I do know is that she seems to be thinking about Christianity in much the same way as a lot of young people ages 16 to 29. A new book by David Kinnaman, unChristian: What A New Generation Really Thinks about Christianity ... and Why It Matters, captures and gives voice to that interest.
Kinnaman captures your attention immediately, stating that "Christianity has an image problem." His research highlights the issues, the challenges and why young adults' perceptions matter. As he writes, "it's not a pretty picture." His desire is to "help start conversations and lead people to start thinking about how to bridge this divide between us and them." Meeting people where they are and understanding what they think, whether you agree or not, whether it is uncomfortable or not, is a great starting point.
For example, his research indicates that many young adults 16 to 29 (about 24 million) outside the church (including some who have left the church) have little trust in the Christian faith -- and esteem for the lifestyle of Christ followers is fading. Unfortunately, as a pastor recently told me, the fastest growing segment of too many denominations is those leaving the church. Why?
Some people think Christians no longer represent what Jesus had in mind, that Christianity in our society is not what it was meant to be. You can agree or disagree with that point of view; however, they have a hard time actually seeing Jesus because of all the negative baggage we carry. Christianity has become bloated, as some outsiders believe, with blind followers who would rather repeat slogans than actually feel true compassion and care.
In national surveys, the most common perceptions of present-day Christianity, according to Kinnaman, is "anti-homosexual, judgmental and hypocritical." Only a small percentage strongly believes that the words "respect, love, hope and trust" describe Christianity. An overwhelming number of young people (84 percent) say they know a Christian personally, but few (15 percent) see a difference in their lifestyle. "Yet it is important to realize," writes Kinnaman, "that young outsiders attribute their image of Christianity primarily to conversations and firsthand experiences." For too many young people, our lives don't match our beliefs.
An individual who also read the book commented on how it accurately depicted what he considered to be unchristian views and behaviors, like this view shared with him on homosexuality: " ... oh, Honey, I just couldn't bear the thought of having those people in my church!"
How we "live" our faith is seen by many as different from what it really is about, or should be about. Simply put, for far too many people, Christians are not practicing what they preach. That's it in a nutshell. Our lives are incongruent with our faith and that is causing problems, a gap in bridging "us" and "them." In many respects, Christians are seen as hypocritical.
A minister I know shared that the book was "powerful, eye-opening and confirming." "It was a very painful mirror," he said honestly. That is an intentional aspect of the book; to be a mirror for people to see themselves and their faith reflected more clearly. "As I read each chapter, I couldn't help but say, ‘yeah, that's us' or even closer to home, ‘yeah, that's me,' " he continued.
There is a growing hostility toward Christians, says Kinnaman. People react to our "swagger," how we go about things and our sense of self-importance. Christians are perceived as being against something instead of standing for something. And Christians are perceived as not liking people because of what they do, how they look or what they believe.
The book is full of insights and information worth thinking about, understanding and acting on. This point from a minister sums it up: We have to change who we "are," and our image will reflect that change. Then, maybe the gap between "us" and "them" will change.
PS: If you want to find out more about the book, the research and the contributors, visit the Web site: www.unchristian.com.
■ Nigel Alston is a Dale Carnegie trainer and motivational speaker. He can be reached at nalston1@triad.rr.com.
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